Saturday, December 26, 2009

The Eggs Washington

Benedict Arnold is a traitor asshole. There is no way in hell my restaurant will ever have a burger named after him.

For those who don't know, Benedict was a respected American General during the Revolutionary War, but when he took command of the fort at West Point, New York, he plotted to surrender the fort to the Brits. After this plan failed, he left our side to join the red coats.

Mother f'er.

How did this guy get such a tremendous breakfast food named after him? There's no such thing as Stalin Waffles or a Hitler Omelet. Why do we have Eggs Benedict?

Well at Sexy Burger, we don't have Eggs Benedict. We have Eggs (greatest American hero) Washington.

For the Eggs Washington we opened the doors to some of the Burger Mob. We had a group of 12 today (minus the Kid who was wedding shopping) and even had a brief cameo from the X Mom, X Jill, and X Dad (who sampled the Eggs Washington and immediately wished he had invested $160 K of his money on our restaurant instead of 6 years of my secondary schooling). Today truly felt like we were slingin burgers at our restaurant.

  • Beef Patty: Simple and delicious. No seasoning added. We are taking this meal back for America with a new name and an American staple, the Beef Patty.
  • Poached Egg: Rounded and white like a perfect winter snow ball with a runny yellow surprise buried deep inside. None of us had ever poached an egg before, but with the aid of a magic egg poacher, Mr. Lickle Tickles stepped out of his role as house photographer and masterly worked these little pieces of heaven.
  • Canadian Bacon: Ummm. Ya, I know we are taking this back for America. But this is pretty traditional and I have some French Canadian in me and they are our harmless cousins to the north. So. Ya. Worked great with this meal.
  • English Muffins: Shit. We are getting away from this whole American theme to this burger. If it weren't Saturday night and I wasn't already drunk I'd probably go try to find a new angle for this post. But it is and I am.
  • Hollandaise Sauce: Packaged brilliance. We did not make this from scratch, but in this instance I think it was the right move. This is an easy sauce to botch, so we trusted the good folks at Unilever to do us right. And do us they did.
So maybe we didn't take this back for America completely. We used Canadian Bacon and English Muffins. Benedict Arnold is probably smiling in his grave right now.

I don't care. His name is separated from this delicious burger forever. Our number one forefather lays claim to this culinary classic done the Sexy Burger way.

Eggs Washington, we salute you.

See you next Burger.


  1. That burger was the $hit!!!!! I had wet dreams Saturday night thinking about it!!! Keep up the good work Sexy Burger!

  2. Yo, I got a suggestion for a delicous burger!! Its call the Jew Burger (AKA the Abraham). It consists of a burger patty, potato latkes, kosher cheese, and apple sauce. To top it off serve it on a Challah.

  3. Thanks for the suggestion johnnybigballs! Potato latkes would make an exceptional burger, and topped off with X Mark's famous apple sauce could be a real treat. We have a "Coffee Talk" burger on our list which includes some Lox and cream cheese served on a bagel with a side of yummy latkes. Seeing as how we would have all the ingredients you would require to make the Abraham on our "Make-Your-Own" Menu you would be all set at any Sexy Burger establishment. If you end up making this please keep us updated on how it works out and how much of what ingredients you use!