We in the Sexy Burger crew consider ourselves to be quite the experts when it comes to these delicious creations. It is very common for us to defend our favorite burgers in weekly after dinner debates.
The other day, X Mark and The Spot had one such debate. They decided to take it to the blog to make their points. X Mark holds a special place in his heart for the Mafioso Special (the spaghetti and meatball burger) while the Spot may have found her one true love in the Peter Brady Burger (the porkchops and applesauce burger).
Things got a little strange as each tried to convince the other exactly how much they loved the burgers. Eventually they abandoned logical thought and just went batshit crazy with examples.
"I want to replace all of my childhood memories with this burger."
"I want to go to medical school and invent the surgery to turn myself into a hamburger, move to Vermont and gay marry this burger in front of my disapproving parents."
"I want to go back in time and kiss the pig on the mouth (we used ground pork) to let him know his death wasn't in vain."
"I want to plant the mafioso special in the ground and grow a burger tree so all the children can enjoy the sweet meaty fruits til the end of time, or until someone cuts it down"
"I want to hurl myself in front of a bus and enter into a 50 year coma so I will dream of nothing but this burger until you inevitably pull the plug."
"I want to cryogenically freeze this burger for 35 years so it can run for president on the platform of ending world hunger and vegetarianism."
"I want to form a constellation of this burger and wait til the sun burns out so the world will forever remain in darkness. Then I want to build a tiny hut on a mountain away from any light pollution where I will spend the rest of my life gazing at the great burger in the sky."
"I want to spend my final days alone in a dimly lit room drifting in and out of insanity as I pen my final masterpiece entitled Requiem for a Mafiosa Special."
After about an hour or so of pointless arguing, X Mark and the Spot realized there was no way they could convince the other their burger was better. Plus they were out of examples. And booze. They eventually agreed to disagree then drunkenly passed out on the kitchen floor only to wake up and forget the whole thing. Thank god for the internet to keep track of these things.
What's the point of all this you may ask? Everyone of us in the Sexy Burger 6 has our favorite burger. Mr. Lickle Tickle loved the Devil's Threesome burger while The Spot almost threw up after eating it. If each of us loved every single burger how much fun would that be?
What is your favorite burger?