Monday, March 15, 2010

Dante's Inferno (Part 2 of 2)
















Sorry for the delayed Part 2 all you boys and girls in Burger Land, but it takes 5 days to properly mourn a fallen child star.

In Part 1 I took a look at the outdated 7 Deadly Sins and the way Sexy Burger practices them, embraces them, and abuses them weekly. Unfortunately, in my long-winded prose, I completely left out talking about that week's burger, the Dante's Inferno.

Inferno is the first part of Dante's Divine Comedy, an epic poem written in the 14th century. Inferno details the 9 circles of hell, which incidentally spawned the 7 Deadly Sins discussed last post. There's probably a bunch of other stuff in there, but honestly reading a long poem from the 1300s is kinda pointless. You are much better off reading a mildly humorous 21st century blog about hamburgers or a semi-complex sports blog about an over reported sports market (honestly it's not that complex and it has a lot of the same biting humor I bring to the Sexy Burger table every week; READ IT!!!).

Let's jump right into the burger, Dante's Inferno.

Components:
  • Burnin beef: No, this is not a nickname for a wang with the clap. This is what happens when you take ground beef and mix chopped jalapenos and jalapeno juice in before you cook it. The heat begins.
  • Jot jalapenos: I actually re-tried these bad boys for the first time in some time on the last Sexy field trip to New York and the love affair began instantly. Because the heat cooks down some with them infused in the burger, the bold few at this gathering put extra jalapenos on top. The fire builds.
  • Fiery cheese: We turned to our good friends to the North, the Cabot family, for our cheesy needs. Pepper jack and habanero cheddar lined the top of these pungent pieces of deliciousness. The embers rise.
  • Sizzling sauce: WARNING: DAVE'S INSANITY HOT SAUCE IS INSANELY HOT (HENCE THE NAME DUMMIES) AND FEELS EXACTLY THE SAME WAY GOING IN AS IT DOES COMING OUT!!! NOT FOR THE FAINT OF ASS!!! The smoke billows.
  • Blazin Buffalo Chicken Dip: One of our first timers (more on her and the others in a minute) graced us with this key ingredient straight from the depths of hell. Without it we would have been left with our pants down holding our ankles waiting for the Devil to punish us. The flames engulf!
It was truly hell on earth. The Anti-Christ on a burger. Cheesus would not be proud, but sometimes to be Sexy you have to be a little evil.

Joining us in our sinful adventure were five of our favorite Burger Minions, all of which made massive contributions. Frequent Sexy Burger visitors The Todd Smith and Squash cleaned the entire X-Cave before and after Burger time. First-timer Jill "Help I Need A Nickname" Nanof created the afformentiond Buffalo Chicken dip and took home March's Rookie Of the Month Award. And new Sexy Burger Neighbors Chrissy and Laura, A/K/A Sister Sister, brought along the sweetest chocolate ballls anyone not named Kardashian will ever taste. We thank all of them for making this a wonderfully hellacious night.

Stay tuned for our drunken wobble to Ireland this Wednesday as Sexy Burger does St. Patty's Day the only way we know how: lots of booze and delicious meat.

See ya next burger.

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