Wednesday, March 3, 2010

The King

A burger dedicated to my hero, my personal Jesus, the hip shaking, leg wobbling sexy mofo, the King, Elvis motherf@cking Presley.

I am so completely enamored with Elvis that I don't even care that he went from this:

To this:

I'd hit that.

I think Elvis would be proud of the way we chose to honor him. We wanted to make a burger based on the King's favorite sandwich. Although I've heard several variations on it, the one that keeps popping up is a grilled peanut butter, banana, bacon sandwich with powdered sugar. Elvis ate this every single day. This sandwich helped Elvis reach a nice round 350 fucking pounds. Ok maybe there were some drugs involved too but that's another discussion altogether. We wanted to take it a step further. We took those ingredients and added a hamburger patty. Then the Revolutionary man had the ingenious idea to use homemade fried dough in place of hamburger buns. He figured when you think "powdered sugar" your next thought should be "fried dough". Brilliant!

Below is the Revolutionary Man cooking up the fried dough. It was surprisingly easy to make. Just take a bit of pizza dough and cook it in some oil and voila!

He told us his argyle t-shirt made him feel fancier for the occasion.

Here is the final result (recipe courtesy of The Kid's mother):

My heart hurts just looking at these beauties

The burger was exactly what I hoped it would be. A hunka hunka burnin food porn. The peanut butter held everything together perfectly. The bacon fit in quite nicely because it's, well, bacon. The sliced banana tricked us into thinking it was cheese while the fried dough cradled all the ingredients safe and sound before they entered our mouths. We've always said that ground beef goes well with everything and it this burger proves it.

Look closely, I swear I can see the King's face in the meat...

Ok so maybe it doesn't photograph so well but believe me, it was delicious. Just look at Professor Purple, she approves.

Dead or alive (good Gods I hope that man is alive) I know deep down Elvis would approve. In his fat, slobbery, drugged-out state he would take one bite, turn to us, smile, and give us one of those all-knowing nods. Then I like to imagine him sort of evaporating into a cloud of glitter. That's just my fantasy. Some of us choose to imagine something more like this:

and there is nothing wrong with that

See ya next burger!!!


  1. This is some funny shit!! Elvis would be HONORED!! -Babs(Meehan)

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