Saturday, November 13, 2010

My Beer Mistress is coming...

From the day I was able to choose my own beer (sorry X Mom and X Dad for taking that which did not belong to me), I have always been an Anheuser-Busch man. When looking to get economically drunk I had my buddy Busch Light. If I was looking for a conversation starter I went Busch Heavy ("Oh that's bad ass bro, you drink Busch Heavy?" is something some dude bros have actually said to me). If I had a little walkin' around money and was feelin' fancy I turned to Bud Heavy. And now in my advanced years as the pounds are not falling away as easily anymore, I have gone on a diet with a strict regiment of Bud Light.

Whenever I walk into a liquor store it is for an AB brand. Whenever I go to the bar I ask for one of my AB friends. The marriage to AB has always been unwavering. Until a fateful day my junior year of college when my friend Can't Stand Ya left me the best voicemail ever: "Dude, hurry up and get to the parking lot (for tailgating). We've got a huge cooler of food and beer and we need someone to eat and drink it!" And that is how I started cheating on Anheuser-Busch with Yuengling.

The reason for my non-burger anecdote is this exciting story from the Wall Street Journal. You see, Yuengling currently is only sold in 13 states along the east coast, one of which is NOT Massachusetts. I have gone months and even years without tasting my favorite beer, so finding out there is even a chance it could be coming to Mass has sent me into a dizzying spiral of beer joy.

So to wrap up this rambling I want to lay down this promise/invitation: The day Yuengling is brought to Mass I will be taking a personal day from work/life/the world to spend a spiritual day with my beer mistress and any Burger Minion out there who is equally excited by this news is welcome to join me in my most intimate of times. And to bring it all back to Sexy Burger, I am also in the process of creating a special Yuengling Burger and would appreciate any suggestions.

Sorry for the diversion from burgers, but I'm busting over this news and I wanted to share it with my faithful Burger Mob.

See ya next burger!
Maybe I should get this with a side of burger

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

The Mojito Burger: Episode One of "The Sexy Drink Burger" Miniseries

If you know any of the Sexy Burger Six you know our stance on alcohol: we love it. I know I would put a frothy can of Budweiser on my Cinnamon Toast Crunch every morning if it were socially acceptable and I'm sure several of you reading this blog would do the same. Well since it is not socially acceptable whatsoever (believe me, I've tried in several settings of varying social class and been shunned in each one), we had to come up with another way to marry delicious food with our favorite giggle juices.

Luckily, this summer an opportunity presented itself. Faced with the horrific possibility of a summer BBQ with nothing but frozen burger patties and mildly enjoyable company, the Crew snapped into action. "How could we make a killer summer burger that would encapsulate our goal of combining food and booze?" First we had to channel Jeff Goldblum. "Wait a minute. Summer. Some myrrh. Myrhh is what the three wise men brought to Jesus on his birthday. Jesus. Jesus died for our sins on a cross. Across. Across the Atlantic Ocean from Florida lays a communist island called Cuba. In Cuba they created a sweet and tarty summer drink called the mojito. My god, the mojito!" And that is how we got...

The Mojito Burger.


  • Jamaican jerk marinated pork patty: Cubans are notorious for hating Jamaicans. Cubans love 3 things: Hating fun, hating democracy and hating America. Since Jamaicans have more fun than anyone, love democracy and Americans love them it is only natural for Cuba to hate Jamaicans. Therefore, what better marinade to use in our Cuban drink burger than Jamaican JERK.
  • Lime: Use this liberally. Trust me. I squeezed it in the raw pork. I squeezed it on as I cooked. I placed lime slices on the patties as I cooked. I went a little lime crazy, but what can I say? I was drunk and it tasted great.
  • Grilled garlic ciabatta bread: This was almost as controversial as the Cuban trade embargo. Some people (mostly people with huge mouths like me) loved this bread. It was extremely tasty and crunchy. Others (with human sized mouths) thought it was not a good fit. They thought it was a little unruly and took away from the awesome flavors of this creation. 
  • Provolone: A lot of dominating flavors in this burger so we just wanted a cheese that could hang out and not try to be the center of attention.
  • Mango salsa: We've used this before on the Maryland Burger and decided to bring it back for this summery island treat. A much easier way to host a party in your mouth than inviting all your friends.
  • Mint chutney: I don't really know what chutney is but this was the mint version of it. Can't have a mojito without fresh mint. That would be Un-Cuban.
There you have it. Now I know we didn't actually use liquor in this burger but the idea to do so came much later so I'd appreciate it if you'd back up offa me. If you want you could try throwing some rum into the jerk sauce when you marinate the meat, but it really isn't necessary.

As you'll notice in the title, this is episode one of a Sexy Burger miniseries on Drink Burgers. The Mojito was our first and we have another episode on the way. But we want to pose to the Burger Mob a question: What other kind of drink burgers should we make? Get creative. No drink is too gross (believe me the next drink burger we write about will sound awful but it was incredible) or too outrageous. If you can dream it, we can do it. Please please please submit your ideas by way of the comment section below, the Sexy Burger Facebook page, text message, email, phone call, telegram or telepathy. We could really use your help.

Stay tuned for Episode 2 of "The Sexy Drink Burger" miniseries.

See ya next burger!
The Spot contemplates our next burger: The Charlie Burger
Sorry Lucia, the Logan Burger would be too tough
X Mark taking a break from cooking to make a sweet farting noise
I didn't know hipsters worked out!?!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Happy Halloween with Shaquita

Because we are called "Sexy Burger" it is important to not completely ignore the first part of our name as we usually just talk about burgers here.

Follow THIS LINK to a video that pushes the boundaries of sexy, the limits of the imagination, the extremity of acceptable behavior, and teeters ever so slightly on the edge of horrifying, but perfectly captures the essence of Halloween. Enjoy (and hide the children)!